Last Words
by Crystal Delphina
Summary: The secret journal of Relena Peacecraft is no longer a secret when a tragedy befalls her. What does everyone have to say about her private reflections on life, love, and the people who are closest to her?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Hello everyone. This will be, let me see, I believe my fifth GW fic. And to think, I just started writing in November 2000. I'm very proud of myself. Well, let me warn you know. This will turn angst very shortly, like next chapter, so don't be fooled. If you're expecting one of my happy sappy fics (though of course, I don't think any of mine are that sappy) don't look here. Yes there will be fluff at the end but let me explain this fic to you a bit. Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Dorlain Peacecraft. In a few short chapters, you will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snag your attention with this first misleading chapter. Damn, I basically told you the plot again. Oh well. On with the story. I'm sure you'll still enjoy it either way.  
  
Last Words: Chapter 1-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Relena was being pushed through the numerous media groups that were outside of the conference building on the colony. She kept her head down from the instruction from Millardo and her foster father about dealing with the numerous people, wanting to find out what was happening. The bodyguards around her made sure the crowd stayed back. She was used to it by now and she even smiled at the insanity of it all.   
  
"Ms. Peacecraft, what will be happening at the colony summit this summer?"  
  
"Ms. Dorlain, how will the Preventers affect the new up-rise in the L2 area?"  
  
Questions like these were being called out all around her, as the people with cameras, microphones, tape recorders clamored toward her trying to answer their questions. She had finally arrived at the car that would take her to her hotel at an unknown location. She was just about to step in, leaving the noise behind, blocking it out when she heard an interesting question.  
  
"Mrs.Yuy, could I see you later?"  
  
She was shocked. She shot her head up to see who would dare call her that name. She looked to her left and then to her right and was surprised she hadn't noticed him earlier. There, standing in a short black shirt and blue jeans stood the famous Duo Maxwell, pilot of a gundam.   
  
She smiled at him in recognition, and he returned it. She straightened herself and looked at the paper he brought out and held out to her. She took the paper in her hands, whispering a 'thank you' before giving another smile and getting into the limo. She looked back to see him turning around and heading the opposite direction with his hands shoved into his pockets.  
  
As soon as they had started on the way to the hotel, Relena unfolded the note and read the words inside that were hand written.  
  
-Dear Miss Relena,  
As soon as Hilde and myself found out about your meeting here on L2-C33284, we thought it might be nice to see you again. We haven't really gotten together after that Christmas party last year. If you would like, here is our number, and we would be more then honored to have you over for dinner tomorrow night after your last conference so we can catch up. Please call if you would like to. Have a nice night.  
Duo Maxwell, 555-3866-  
  
Relena folded the note once again and placed in into her lap smiling. She was delighted that Hilde and Duo had invited her and she would call them as soon as she reached her hotel. With the conferences ending tomorrow, she had arranged to stay on this colony an extra four days to relax a bit. Maintaining peace was hard, but she loved her job, and she wouldn't give it up for anything. Anyway, if she did, the world would most likely be thrown back into the war she despised.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Thank you very much you two for inviting me to your home. It took me a while to convince Millardo to let me come here without my body guards, but once I reminded him there would be a formal gundam pilot with me, he reluctantly said okay." Relena said smiling as she entered the house of Hilde and Duo Maxwell.  
  
Duo was holding the door wide open and smiled at the thought of Zechs actually letting his younger sister out of the sight of her guards. At least Zechs trusted him.   
  
Relena was greeted with the smells of pasta and tomato sauce coming from what she assumed was the kitchen. Hilde came out smiling, with an apron around her, came over, and shook hands with Relena.   
  
"Hi Relena, long time no see." Hilde said while showing Relena into the dining room. Pasta was already set out with a small serving of tomato sauce on top, with bread on the side. She smiled at the dinner and was comforted by the friendly atmosphere around her. She only got to see them once or twice a year.   
  
They all sat down and enjoyed each others company as they went over what had happened in each of their lives over the past year. Including the news that Hilde had gotten pregnant, which Relena received with great joy, while Duo slightly blushed. They talked about the others and what they had heard about their lives. Apparently Trowa and Catherine were still doing well with the circus and helping to manage it. In addition, Quatre was quickly becoming richer by the day with the Winner Corp. While Sally and Wufei were the top Preventers. They did stay off the subject of one person that barely anyone mentioned anymore.  
  
While sipping on their drinks after dinner in the living room, Relena was telling them about Zechs and Noin.  
  
"Yes, they came back last year and have been helping me while others took over their post on Mars. They accompany me everywhere, so at least I'm always close to my family." Relena said with a thoughtful look. She shook her head and then looked straight at Duo.  
  
"Anything else happening here on the colony other then the new arrival." Relena said with a grin nodding towards Hilde. Duo blushed again quickly before smiling himself.   
  
"Actually Relena, there was one other reason why we invited you here tonight..."he said trailing off.  
  
"And the reason would be...?"Relena said getting curious, but acting nonchalantly with a wave of her hand. She took a small sip of her drink.  
  
"Well we sort of found Heero." Duo said looking elsewhere in the room. All of a sudden, the bookcase seemed really interesting, as if he had never seen it before.  
  
Now Relena was used to surprises, especially in the business she was in. She quickly swallowed the liquid in her mouth to prevent herself from choking, and put on a political face. She sucked in a big breath and looked straight at Duo.   
  
"Really? That's so nice. How is he doing these days?" She sounded as if she were talking about one of her employees. There was no hint of surprise in her voice. Duo turned to look at her, shock etched on his face.  
  
"From what I've heard, he's doing fine these days Relena." Hilde said with a bit of difficulty at first. Wasn't this the same girl that had been in love with the 'Perfect Soldier' without admitting it for the past five years? The one she hadn't seen in three years. Sure she would never admit it, but it was obvious to everyone that Relena still cared in some way or another. And when Hilde saw Heero arrive at their front door, and when Duo mentioned Relena later that night, she could see it in his eyes too.  
  
"Well that's wonderful. So how did you find him?"  
  
Duo answered with no difficulty and actually began grinning. "Well of all the things, he showed up here. He said he had some type of meeting here, and when he realized this was the colony that Hilde and myself lived on, he thought it was time he finally dropped in. It was somewhat weird at first, but I was glad to see him, and know that he was safe. Peace has done some good changing in him."  
  
"We told him what has been happening lately, and when we mentioned you and that you would be arriving soon, he was quiet for a moment, but you both seem to have the same reaction to each other. Did the rest of us miss something? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hilde said leaning forward.  
  
"No, it is just good to know that he is doing well. When did he stop by?"  
  
"About three days ago. He gave us an address and said he was living on L1-R43376. I guess he has just been going from colony to colony completing any minor missions Dr.J has set up for him. However, he came by to say that he is stopping because this time of peace doesn't need a soldier any longer. He said he might be traveling to the earth soon."  
  
Relena reflected for a bit, and sat quietly in the chair she was in, while Hilde stood up and began clearing the dishes. Duo patiently waited while she absorbed the information he had just laid on top of her. She cleared her throat and looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearly 11pm and Millardo would be getting upset soon if she didn't return.   
  
Hilde came back in and as she saw Relena rising from her seat. Duo did the same and they looked at her expectantly. She smiled at the information they had provided her and their worry.   
  
"Thank you very much for the dinner. It was very nice to see you again and catch up. I'm afraid I do have to leave now, so I'll just exit on my own. I'll talk to you guys later, and I'll see you at the Christmas party. Thank you again." She walked over to Duo, gave him a quick hug, and then did the same to Hilde. She opened their front door, and was about to walk out but turned her head around to give a shout back.   
  
"Call me when the child is born. Bye you two." And she walked out leaving them standing there smiling. She was a really good friend. A shadowy figure seemed to appear out of no where and began to speak.  
  
"That was an interesting reaction."  
  
Duo and Hilde were not the slightest bit fazed, but simply turned to the figure still smiling.  
  
"It was the exact same as yours if I remember." Hilde chided.  
  
A small snort was heard and the figure smirked.  
  
"Yeah I guess your right. I guess we really are the same after all."  
  
"Your telling me buddy. Are you going to tell her?" Duo calmly inquired.  
  
"Yeah, tomorrow. Do you think she'll except me?"  
  
"Buddy, she'll throw her doors wide open to welcome you in."  
  
So there you guys go. There is the first chapter of my latest fic. Hope you enjoyed. Now, onto the blackmail. If you read my fics every so often, you know that there is a system that goes along with it. In my very first fic, I demanded that if I didn't get at least 10 reviews a chapter, I wouldn't go on. Well ya know what? That is just plain cruel. Especially when about 90% of you guys don't even bother to ever write a review after reading a fic. I mean, I know I sure don't. Nevertheless, I'm going to try one more time. However, I only want at least five reviews this time. I mean I love encouragement, because I personally think I suck, so if you want this fic to continue, review me. Go right ahead and say that I suck, because it will only improve my writing, but you have to give a reason why. Like I'm not including enough detail or something. Okay you have been warned. I promise you the next chapter will have some surprises. OH, and I'll get right to work on my other fic "Once So Long Ago". Bye my faithful (hopefully reviewing) readers! ;-) Ciao! ~Crystal Delphina~   



	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Hello everyone. This will be, let me see, I believe my fifth GW fic. And to think, I just started writing in November 2000. I'm very proud of myself. Well, let me warn you know. This will turn angst very shortly, like next chapter, so don't be fooled. If you're expecting one of my happy sappy fics (though of course, I don't think any of mine are that sappy) don't look here. Yes there will be fluff at the end but let me explain this fic to you a bit. Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Dorlain Peacecraft. In a few short chapters, you will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snag your attention with this first misleading chapter. Damn, I basically told you the plot again. Oh well. On with the story. I'm sure you'll still enjoy it either way.  
  
Last Words: Chapter 2-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was a beautiful sunny morning, and Relena purposefully woke up early to enjoy the artificial sunlight of the colonies and go to an early breakfast. Of course she would leave a note for Millardo and Noin to tell them that she would be back soon. And if she didn't return after 11am without calling they could call the police and search for her.   
  
She took her shower and dressed quickly, wanting to get out of the hotel before anyone could wake up. She planned leaving her room perfectly because right at 6:30am the guards switched duty and she had a 5 minute open space. She wrote the note and left it on her bed and waited until she could hear the two guards shuffle down the hall.   
  
She smiled and looked one last time at the room to make sure that the note was easily visible and walked out to enjoy a bit of freedom.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She walked and enjoyed the morning without everyone up and bustling about. She walked through a nearby park and just let herself wander around in the wooded area and get lost. This is what she had worked so hard for. So that she could enjoy peaceful moments like this. She loved her life. Only every now and then, would she yearn for someone to share it with. However she would dismiss the idea without a second thought. She had her family and friends, and that was all that really mattered.   
  
She stopped and mulled for a bit about the information Duo and Hilde had presented to her last night. So Heero was back in contact with everyone? That was good to know that he was doing better. She wondered how the last three years had treated him, and if he really was still the young soldier minded boy, or had he grown into a young man with at least some emotions to guide his heart and mind. She began walking again and looked at her watch. It was 8am, the restaurant she wanted to try should be open now. People were beginning to fill the streets. She began to jog a bit towards the restaurant, her hair pulled back swung back and forth across her back. She was dressed as any normal civilian, and hopefully would lower her chances of being recognized.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She finished her order of French toast. She loved the stuff and had it whenever she could, which was rare. She had asked to sit outside on the patio in the back of the restaurant. There were only a small handful of other diners out there with her. She took a small sip of her orange juice and looked around at the people around her.   
  
One of her favorite activities was to people watch. She would just sit there and try to figure out what they were either talking or thinking about by watching their facial expressions. It was crucial in politics to have this down when discussing treaties and such. You needed to try and figure out what the two delegates felt about the agreement. She had became very good at it.  
  
Across from her and to the left a little bit was a man and a woman sitting by themselves talking quietly. They seemed to both be upset about something, but Relena didn't like to eavesdrop a lot, so she moved on to the next table. A young man was sitting there with a cellphone chatting away and kept arranging himself. He seemed to be one of those types that is always fast moving and doesn't take a second to look at the world around them. She continued to look at the last two tables. One seemed to be a happy little family of three, with a little girl that seemed about four. She had a bright smile on that was a smile of unknown hardships this world is made of. Innocent and sweet, hopefully she wouldn't have to face the most horrible hardship of war, and what it does to your heart. With Relena, it tore her heart up to see all those young soldiers sent to their graves. And then later to have to witness time and again her friends go off to fight and herself just left behind to fight as best as she knew how. With her mind. She could easily outsmart most of the older ambassadors an such type. They all respected her now, but back during the war, it was difficult time.   
  
She saw her waitress coming out with her order and looked at the last man in the corner. He had his elbows on the table with his eyes cast down. He seemed to be deep in thought. He had on a dark green long sleeved shirt with an ordinary pair of jeans. He had brown hair, and she couldn't see his eyes. She just assumed that something was troubling this man.  
  
The waitress was now at her table and put her order on the table. Relena thanked her and smiled at the good looking meal. The waitress left and Relena put the napkin in her lap and picked up a fork. She was about to take a small bite when she felt a presence above her and immediately went on a defensive mode. Her body tensed a bit and she quickly looked up hoping it was the waitress back with possibly some extra maple syrup for her to use.   
  
She was met with Prussian eyes and gasped.   
  
"You know that you really shouldn't be by yourself here Re.. I mean Lena." the young man she had seen earlier softly said.  
  
She just sat there shocked. But managed to get out a few words.  
  
"How'd you manage to find me?" She quickly regained her composure and smiled. It had been three years, and she wasn't about to scare him away by acting like a scared mouse.   
  
"Do you mind if I sit down? I'll answer any questions you may have."   
  
She nodded her head and actually took him in. He really did seem to be kinder now. His voice wasn't that monotone that she hated and loved at the same time. It had a hint of, well if she dared call it that, compassion.  
  
"I actually didn't find you. I just happened to be having breakfast here. Interesting coincidence." He kept his back straight in the chair and looked straight at her, his eyes and voice still having that cold edge to them.  
  
"Oh okay then. So how have you been Heero? I heard that you went to go visit Hilde and Duo a couple of days ago."  
  
"Yeah, I did. I knew that they had married last year, but was a bit surprised about there little surprise. I've been doing well for myself. Dr. J asked me if I wanted to continue fighting this year and I just simply answered no. I haven't been doing any killing because I know that would go against my promise, just little missions. What about you? I've heard in some media papers that your thinking about resigning next year? Is that true?"  
  
"Well it's good to know you've been doing well. It has been hard work maintaining peace but I think it is finally stable. I am thinking about resigning next year just so that I can begin to lead a life. Also I think the world is ready for some fresh blood with new ideas. I don't know for sure yet though. I could always try and rebuild the Sanc Kingdom one more time to set up another school there. I've been thinking more and more about it though."  
  
"Really? Well whatever decision you make should do okay. It's good to see you again Lena. But back to my first point, why are you out here without any sort of protection?" His voice became slightly stern and she couldn't help but giggle a bit at the likeness of a reaction her brother would have.   
  
"Because I wanted a few hours of freedom. Don't worry, I'll be heading back soon. Heero, do you mind if I ask you kind of a difficult question?"  
  
"No."  
  
Right to the point as always. "Why did you finally decide to come back and, well, are you staying for good this time?" It was kind of difficult to ask on her part. She refused to cry though if he said he was just staying for a short period.  
  
"Well I do plan on staying, and the reason why is simple. I wanted to see everyone again Relena, and come back in contact with humanity and my own heart. I wanted to see you."  
  
She was so happy she did begin to cry even though she scolded herself. She was smiling, and her heart seemed to open up. She sighed and managed to talk through her tears.  
  
"Oh Heero..."  
  
And as soon as the words left her mouth, she heard a huge popping sound. That was when she felt the horrible pain though. A searing burning pain went through her abdomen and she doubled over and heard Heero shouting her name. She still had tears of joy and pain mixed on her face, and she managed to say on last word before she descended into a darkness that was frightening.  
  
"Heero..."  
  
So there you guys go. Hope you enjoyed. Now, onto the blackmail. If you read my fics every so often, you know that there is a system that goes along with it. In my very first fic, I demanded that if I didn't get at least 10 reviews a chapter, I wouldn't go on. Well ya know what? That is just plain cruel. Especially when about 90% of you guys don't even bother to ever write a review after reading a fic. I mean, I know I sure don't. Nevertheless, I'm going to try one more time. However, I only want at least five reviews this time. I mean I love encouragement, because I personally think I suck, so if you want this fic to continue, review me. Go right ahead and say that I suck, because it will only improve my writing, but you have to give a reason why. Like I'm not including enough detail or something. Okay you have been warned. Okay, I admit that this fic kinda rushes through but.... I think this will work. OH, and I'll get right to work on my other fic "Once So Long Ago". Bye my faithful (hopefully reviewing) readers! ;-) Ciao! ~Crystal Delphina~  



	3. Vote

Okay, before I continue with this story, I need you guys to review me with answers. Okay, now this is a twist in events. I had three ideas.  
1) Continue with the story were it left off such as (these are all examples people): Heero ran towards Relena as she fell on the patio cement. If I took this one, it would include rushing her the hospital, and so on.   
  
2) Jumping ahead by one or two weeks (or maybe even a month?). Such as: It had been a week since the Vice Foreign Minister had an attempt taken on her life.  
  
3)OR I could do number two, while skipping back to number one in between. Like flashbacks basically throughout the chapters so you know what happened between that time, and the present.   
  
So those are my three ideas. I would really like your opinion because I'm stuck right now between the three. If you have another suggestion, you can go right ahead and post it too. So either tell me your votes in the reviews, or e-mail me (check my profile). Okay, the decision is yours. The sooner I have an overall understanding, the sooner the next chap comes out. Okay. ;-) Ciao babes! ~Crystal Delphina~  



	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Hello everyone. This will be, let me see, I believe my fifth GW fic. And to think, I just started writing in November 2000. I'm very proud of myself. Well, let me warn you know. This will turn angst very shortly, like next chapter, so don't be fooled. If you're expecting one of my happy sappy fics (though of course, I don't think any of mine are that sappy) don't look here. Yes there will be fluff at the end but let me explain this fic to you a bit. Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Dorlain Peacecraft. In a few short chapters, you will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snagged your attention with that first misleading chapter. Damn, I basically told you the plot again. Oh well. On with the story. I'm sure you'll still enjoy it either way. Oh, and with the voting, most of you voted for option number three, so here you go.  
  
Last Words: Chapter 3-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"How is she?" Duo asked the obviously tired Heero. He had stayed by Relena's side since she had came into the emergency room, and had surgery. That had been 3 days ago.   
  
"They said they did what they could, but it is only a matter of time until her body just gives out. She's still unconscious." He replied wearily. He didn't even seem to be there, just a shell that responded when talked to.   
  
~Flashback~  
  
"RELENA!!!" Heero rushed to her side, just able to hear her say his name before she slipped into unconsciousness. He looked around desperately at his surroundings, trying to find the shooter. He looked up to the roof, and there sat the fool grinning like an idiot.   
  
Heero quickly pulled out his gun, shot once, and then turned back towards Relena knowing that he had successfully killed the man who tried to take her life.  
  
Automatically ripping his shirt, he began to try to put pressure on the small wound. Luckily, it looked as if the bullet had gone straight through. He pulled out his cell phone and called 911.   
  
He seemed to ignore the screaming, confusion, and the people running around in terror and shock. All that mattered was to get her to the hospital, and make sure she stayed stable until she got there.   
  
~ End Flashback ~  
  
"Has she woken up at all?" Hilde asked with tears in her eyes. She had checked in at the hospital with Duo and they spent hours here during shifts. As soon as everyone had been contacted, the pilots each took shifts to wait with Heero. They frankly didn't trust him on his own.  
  
"Yes, she woke up for about an hour last night, and asked to see Noin. Noin was in there for two minutes before exiting the room in tears, but she seemed to be on a mission. She came back 10 minutes later and went right back into the room. While she was gone, I sat with Relena, and she assured me everything will turn out fine..." Heero quietly spoke the answer keeping his eyes on her room. The doctors were currently in there, and as soon as they left, he would go back to keep his vigil.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
He had made the ambulance officials let him ride inside along with Relena. The ride had only take five minutes since the hospital was so close, but as each second pounded away, he knew that it was just ticking down her living time. The ride seemed to take an hour.  
  
"We have a critical liner here. She needs immediate surgery. Bullet wound to the right side of the abdomen." The doctor said while pushing Heero out of the way. He looked on in sheer devastation, as he knew there was nothing else he could do for her.   
  
He silently walked to a chair and sat down with heaviness set in his heart. He began calling everyone that needed to be notified.   
  
He called Zechs first. It was only proper that he found out from Heero before hearing it on the news. It was only a matter of time until the media started to flock to St. Anne's hospital.  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
"Heero, please go lie down and sleep, or let us get you something to eat. What support can you be to her if she sees you so wasted?" Duo asked his friend. He sat by his side with his hand on his shoulder, urging Heero to just revive himself in any small way. "Hilde, would you please go get a sandwich out of the vending machine? Here's some money." Duo said while handing her a five dollar bill. She nodded her head and walked off down the hall.  
  
"Heero, snap out of this now. We all know how much you care about Relena, but you need to rest. We will wake you immediately if anything happens. Everyone's coming to visit this afternoon, and we need you to rest. You don't want to look like a wreck in front of all of them do you? Please Heero. Just eat the sandwich, then go sleep." Duo pleaded with his friend.   
  
Heero nodded aimlessly, acting as if he was a child being reprimanded. Even his body had to give out at sometime after not sleeping for more then 48 hours.  
  
Hilde came back with a sandwich and water and handed the provisions to Heero. He took them quietly and slowly chewed the food, digesting it into his empty stomach. As soon as he was finished, Duo escorted him to a room that the hospital had open that he could sleep on one of the gurneys, after Duo had begged with the staff.   
  
Heero tossed himself on the bed, and tried to stay awake, but sleep quickly grabbed him. The hours slipped away as the sun rose towards the afternoon.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"How is she?" Dorothy asked Hilde as she rushed in ahead of everyone else. All of the girls had red eyes and not even Wufei marked it as a weak aspect. He kept quiet like everyone else as Hilde gave the report. Duo walked off to go awaken the slumbering Heero.  
  
"Did you have trouble getting in? The media seems to only have slacked off a bit since when Duo and I came in."   
  
"Well they swarmed as soon as they saw Mr. Peacecraft, and Mr. Winner, and soon recognized the rest of us. The hospital staff let us in with no trouble however." Dorothy said with as much as she could manage of a smile, which was only a small curving of her lips.  
  
As soon as Duo returned with a rumpled Heero beside him, Noin cleared her throat from behind everyone.  
  
She looked towards the ground and quietly stated not daring to look in anyone's eyes. "I have a message from Relena."  
  
Everyone immediately stopped talking and looked towards her as she produced a leather bound notebook from out of her purse.  
  
"Last night, when I talked to her, she asked me to run to her apartment and get this for her. It's her journal. I brought it back to her and she wrote in it for 45 minutes before she passed out again. However, before she did, she told me that each of us was to read this in turn that she has marked in front. There are further instructions in the back, but you'll get there. You have to read this quickly though, cause we all have to finish it the next 48 hours. If your interested, like I was, it only took me 3 hours to read it. She said I was to go first. Sally, she marked you as next...." Noin said presenting the book to Sally who stood there speechless and surprised.   
  
Everyone just looked on as she accepted it, and walked down the hall towards the cafeteria where she began to read about what Relena had written in the past couple of years...  
  
So there you guys go. Hope you enjoyed. Now, onto the blackmail. If you read my fics every so often, you know that there is a system that goes along with it. In my very first fic, I demanded that if I didn't get at least 10 reviews a chapter, I wouldn't go on. Well ya know what? That is just plain cruel. Especially when about 90% of you guys don't even bother to ever write a review after reading a fic. I mean, I know I sure don't. Nevertheless, I'm going to try one more time. However, I only want at least five reviews this time. I mean I love encouragement, because I personally think I suck, so if you want this fic to continue, review me. Go right ahead and say that I suck, because it will only improve my writing, but you have to give a reason why. Like I'm not including enough detail or something. Okay you have been warned. Okay, I admit that this fic kinda rushes through but.... I think this will work. OH, and I'll get right to work on my other fic "Once So Long Ago". Bye my faithful (hopefully reviewing) readers! ;-) Ciao! ~Crystal Delphina~  
  
P.S. This chapter is a birthday present (pretty lame present huh?) for Mameha-sama, along with the next chapter of Dark Force. If you haven't read Dark Force yet, go check it out along with Once So Long Ago. Sorry Mameha, I thought I did have the next chap of OSLA done, but it turned out I didn't. I hope this is okay.  
  
  



	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Hello everyone. This will be, let me see, I believe my fifth GW fic. And to think, I just started writing in November 2000. I'm very proud of myself. Well, let me warn you now. This will turn angst very shortly, like next chapter, so don't be fooled. If you're expecting one of my happy sappy fics (though of course, I don't think any of mine are that sappy) don't look here. Yes there will be fluff at the end but let me explain this fic to you a bit. Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Dorlain Peacecraft. In a few short chapters, you will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snagged your attention with that first misleading chapter. Damn, I basically told you the plot again. Oh well. On with the story. I'm sure you'll still enjoy it either way.   
  
Last Words: Chapter 4-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sally sipped on the small cup of orange juice she had bought in the hospital cafeteria. She was already half way through Relena's journal, though of course it had only been an hour. She had to rest her eyes though, and stretch her neck, and was happy to get up to get the beverage.   
  
She used the back of her hands to rub her eyes quickly to try and rub the weariness from them. She looked   
down to view the entry she had just read.   
  
=~*~=  
January 29 - A.C. 198  
  
I had a meeting with Une and Sally this morning at the Preventers headquarters. It was one of the meetings we had every month so I could be updated on any new sparks or growing fires. Luckily, there haven't been any big ones this year. Maybe people are learning to except peace? I hope so.  
  
It was going normal, but today Sally seemed rather withdrawn, and she wasn't talking and wasn't smiling as much. I'll have to question her about her attitude later. I hope it doesn't concern Wufei. Those two never usually get into major fights, but when they do, well... you avoid Wufei at all costs, and you let Sally have her space.   
  
Une..., well she kept looking over at Sally, and then when she was finished with the both of us, and we were dismissed, she turned to look out the window. Something had to be wrong with her today too. Hopefully they'll both cheer up, and if they don't, well that's why I'm here. ^_^  
  
This afternoon I had a lunch meeting with William Robertson. The kind man wanted to inform me about a small governmental conference his country had that he attended, and just wanted to assure me that they   
only wanted to make sure two of the provinces in the country agreed to work together in a new mining operation that sat right on the border. Surprisingly, after all that, he asked me how I was holding up.   
  
I really appreciate the old man, he is one of the few politicians I actually enjoy being around because I like his personality. He his not only wise, but honest in all fields also.  
  
Anyway, he asked me how I was doing, and reminded me of the fact that I'm 18, and has the weight of the world on my shoulders, and it's been that way for two years already. I just gave a smile and assured him that I was fine, which is the truth. I love my job, it can be stressful at times, but I would gladly do it to know that people are safe, and the world doesn't have to be involved in war. That's all that matters.  
  
It's time for me to head to bed now, but I'll make sure to find out what happened to Sally and Une that made them so quiet today.  
  
=~*~=  
  
Sally gave a smirk. She remembered that day faintly. Une had been informed of a terrorist attack that was   
forming against the top political officials including Relena, that would all be meeting on a tour of the L3   
colony cluster. However, she had been mad at Wufei over an argument they had had that day concerning   
her safety and Relena's. Sally was going to accompany her, and even after she had proved herself time and time again of being strong to Wufei, he hadn't wanted her to go with Relena by herself. She remembered being furious at him, assuming that he didn't think she could take care of the two of them because she was 'weak' or some other excuse. He had eventually let her go and stopped grumbling, and they had been fine, but she never really did get an explanation from his reaction.  
  
She just continued to read after finishing her drink knowing that the sooner she finished, the better. Time   
was of the essence and she had to make sure to give the journal to the next person on the list.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Did they find the group the assassin was associated with?" Noin whispered into the phone that was down   
the hall from the waiting group of friends.  
  
"Yes, we arrested them all, and they have been taken care of. It was rather quite small. We were all just   
caught off guard, that's all.... How is she doing Noin?" Une asked in concern. She felt horrible that   
Preventers hadn't noticed the fire sooner, and she blamed herself for letting the group of rebels get as far as they had.  
  
"She's stable for right now, but.... if anything doesn't happen soon,... well, I just don't know," she started   
with her eyes closed before Lady Une interrupted her.  
  
"Don't even think that. You know Miss Relena is strong, and she will pull through, you just have to put   
your faith in her."  
  
"I know, it's just so hard, and all of us are just so depressed. She means so much to all of us."  
  
"That reminds me, how's Zechs and Heero holding up?"  
  
"They both haven't moved from leaning against the hall near her door for the last hour. The doctors kicked them out of her room because they said she needed a bit of space for a while. The poor doctors almost got killed, I'll tell you that though." Noin said with a small laugh, remembering how both of the men had threatened the doctors, until Noin reminded them that Relena's life depended on them.  
  
"Une, she had a message for you and Mariemaia. She told me last night to have each of us read her journal, and she knew that you couldn't leave your post in this mayhem, so she asked me to relay a message to the both of you."  
  
Une stayed quiet on her end of the phone waiting for Relena's words of wisdom.  
  
"All she told me to tell you was that she knows that Mariemaia looks up to you, and that you treat her like   
the child you could never have with Trieze. But don't baby her to much. Mariemaia informed Relena that she wanted to join the Preventers twice now, or at least begin training, and she didn't believe you would let her. Relena doesn't want Mariemaia to start into a battle life quite yet, but if she has Trieze's fighting and noble spirit, and your raising of the same kind, it won't be long..."  
  
Une had had a feeling that Mariemaia was wanting to fight, and the girl had already approached her, but she had brushed her off. Une was musing over Relena's words when Noin began to speak again.  
  
"She also wanted me to tell you that in case she doesn't make it, she loves you both, and that you have been the best guard and one of her closest friends that she has found. And she's glad she turned you down when you offered her the gun on MO II."  
  
"I'm glad to, and I've tried my best to make everything up to her by trying to bring about peace the only way I know how. Tell her if she wakes up again, that I'll be forever sorry for the pain and grief I caused her family. Will you do that for me Noin? Please?"  
  
"Yes of course. I have to go now, because I think someone else wants to make a call. I'll update you later   
okay if anything changes."  
  
"Thanks Noin. I'll keep praying, and I'll tell Mariemaia about everything. She's been crying since she   
found out. Bye, and give everyone my support."  
  
"Everyone has been upset since they found out. Bye, and I will." Noin said as she ended the conversation.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
- Sally, I know you love him, don't deny it- Sally kept repeating the words in her head that she had read in   
the journal. It was the page addressed to her. She walked back towards the group that all turned towards her when they saw her enter.  
  
She gave a glance towards the closed door that was Relena's room, the two men standing beside it, and then a quick glance over the room making eye contact with everyone, until she came across the last occupant and lingered. Sally, while still standing in the hallway entry, gave the journal to the person sitting in the chair that was against the wall that made part of the entrance. As the occupant of the chair rose to leave, she took their seat as they just gave a nod and walked out.   
  
So there you guys go. Hope you enjoyed it. I have decided to stop the whole blackmailing thing by the way, so you guys should be happy. However the sooner you guys get the reviews going, the more I'll work on it and the happier I'll feel about it. Kinda like my other story "Dark Force" which I'm trying to decide if I should continue it or not because no one's been really reviewing. Oh, and that reminds me, I'm currently working on another GW fic that should come out in spring at the latest, and I'm going to be deleting two of my fics on ff.net. The reason why for those is so I can develop them further and then re-release them later. Those include "Hidden Secrets" and "Pink, the Color of my Heart (Sailor Moon)" Okay, now that I've updated you guys, go and review so I'll write the next chap for this. Seriously, how'd you guys like this one? I'm sorry it was so short by the way...  
  
~Crystal Delphina~  
  
  



	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Summary: Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Darlain Peacecraft. You will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snagged your attention with that first misleading chapter.  
  
A.N.: Hello everyone. This will be, let me see, I believe my fifth GW fic. And to think, I just started writing in November 2000. I'm very proud of myself. OMG, I finally decided to upload. I know that you all have been very patient. Sorry, school and stuff you know guys. Well finally, here is the next chapter in this series. I also have to admit that I couldn't think of anything to do for a while, but I finally sat down, and I wrote this in about an hour and a half. Have fun.   
  
Last Words: Chapter 5-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Dorothy sat calmly in one of the hospital halls. She was worried about her friend, but she still wouldn't let it show how much it was killing her inside. Even Quatre wasn't able to get rid of all of her emotional dams. Both him and Relena had helped though...  
  
=~*~=  
  
February 19- A.C. 197  
  
Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Right now, that is all that my life consists of. Even though the Barton incident happened over three months ago, the people and delegates won't shut up about it. Not that I want everyone to just forget about it either, it's just that I want to move on. Mulling over the past to much can cause you to lose sight of your goals ahead of you.   
  
However journal, I do have some interesting news. You will never guess who was at one of the military meetings today. Of course the regular representatives were there (meaning the Preventers), but to my great surprise and happiness, a representative for the Romefeller Foundation was there. I must admit at first, I was weary of them showing up (along with many other delegates), but as soon as they proposed the actions they were wanting to take within the ESUN, everyone was immediately pleased with their change in attitude. And the representative said that Romefeller had reestablished itself under new leadership. Now this is the part were you get to guess. Dorothy Catalonia has taken over her deceased grandfather's role, and has directed the Foundation towards peaceful actions. I always did wonder what had happened to her after the Libra incident...  
  
=~*~=  
  
March 28 - A.C.197  
  
Oh journal, the most terrible thing has happened. There was actually a rally outside of the Romefeller Foundation today. Apparently, people that had been on colonies during the Libra incident, wanted Dorothy to pay for what happened. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.   
  
She proudly stood up though to the challenge, and assured the people that she would do what she could to help the colony citizens, and try to repay her debt to society. However...they didn't fully accept what she said.  
  
I must admit I am bitter about the whole situation. The only reason why this is happening is because with the announcement that one of the major leading powers during the wars is back, they wanted someone to blame for what happened during those times. Because of my brother's supposed death, Dorothy was the closest target. I admit I don't know what to do exactly. Hopefully, the people will come to understand the grave mistake of their actions.  
  
=~*~=  
  
March 30 - A.C. 197  
  
The people will accept Dorothy's act on helping to repay them. I fear Romefeller will lose a great deal of money from this action. It is the only option she has though. Is this the same Dorothy Catalonia though from the wars? I wonder what happened to give her this change of heart... Whatever caused her to want to give back to humanity and forget war, I am forever grateful.  
  
=~*~=  
  
Dorothy feared she would soon break down and start crying at her friend's kind words. She had always wondered how Relena had viewed her when she stepped back out into the political arena. It had taken a while for Dorothy to get all her affairs in order, including those that revolved around the heart. It took a lot of deep soul searching for Dorothy to make important decisions about what she wanted to do with her future  
  
=~*~=  
  
April 5- A.C. 197  
  
Everything is going to be fine, thank god. The Foundation isn't going to go bankrupt, and the people seem to be happy at how Romefeller is using its funds in helping peace take a role in this era.   
  
Dorothy called on me this afternoon. I was quite surprised at her arrival actually. It has been so long since I've seen her. Of course I've seen her on the television these past couple of weeks, but it just isn't the same. Seeing her face to face today overwhelmed me with a sense of joy. I quickly took her into my arms and gave her a hug, much to her confusion. She had came to me today with a request. For forgiveness.  
  
She admitted to all of her foolishness during the war, and was asking that I forgive her for how she treated me and the whole situation. I was taken aback. I quickly sat her down, and hugged her again as tears began to come to her eyes. I assured her that it was all because of the war and her clouded judgment, and I forgave her in a heartbeat. I always knew, even during the war, that she had a soft side, even if she never showed it. Someone must have worked it out of her...but who is the question... I am determined to find out.  
  
=~*~=  
  
She finished reading the journal within the hour, often going back over the parts that mentioned her. She wasn't a vain person or anything, she was just trying to pick up any hints of acceptance that Relena would mention about her. Even if she didn't display it, being accepted by her friends now, once enemies, was one of the most important things to her. She still didn't believe she should have been forgiven so easily for everything that she had done, but at the same time, she felt great relief, a burden being lifted off her shoulders.   
  
She turned to the page that was addressed directly and only to her. She had to know what Relena wanted to say to her.  
  
=~*~=  
  
One of my dearest friends, Dorothy Catalonia, how could we have came so far? I know that you still hide those feelings of regret and shame. You could never hide it from me. I could always see it in your eyes when we would talk about serious matters, heart to heart conversations. Always striving for perfection, aren't you? I know that we met under unusual circumstances, you being the granddaughter of one of the very men that was out for my blood, but remember, that even back then, I accepted you. Please realize this now. It is an important matter that cannot be ignored any longer. Quatre has come to me more then once worried about you, and telling me of nightmares you will have about making a wrong decision while aboard Libra. How you still toss and turn over the wound you gave him, worried that he still holds resentment towards you. Don't you understand that he loves you more then anyone, and that he would never hold those kind of feelings against you? I hope you do.  
  
I'm afraid that I must leave you now. I want you to know, that if I don't make it through this, that I totally forgive you, and don't hold anything you did against you. All of us were, and still are, young at the times that those events took place. Just leave this situation, knowing that I will forever hold you in my heart.  
  
Your friend,  
Relena  
  
=~*~=  
  
Dorothy wiped the tears from her eyes, but they wouldn't stop. Her final dam had broken down, and her heart was letting all her sadness out full force. She couldn't help but feel hopeless at Relena's situation, even if she still wanted to keep faith.   
  
She knew that what Relena said was true, and she really did feel forgiven. She felt complete. Her tears were still coming though, feeling some regret. Had Relena really noticed the whole time whenever they talked? She choked on another sob.  
  
She suddenly felt arms come around her, and grasp her against a warm chest. She knew immediately who it was, and cried into his soft shirt. The few silent tears that still coursed down her face, wet the shirt, but neither paid heed to it.   
  
"It's okay, just calm down. It will be all right." He murmured into her ear, trying to soothe her like a child. Dorothy just clung on tighter to him, and mumbled that she was sorry.  
  
Quatre pulled away from her and made her look him in the eyes.  
  
"Don't apologize for anything Dorothy. You've apologized enough."  
  
She nodded her head, finally understanding that she truly was forgiven by everyone. She gave a slight smile as he helped her up out of her chair, and they began to walk back to the waiting room to pass on the journal to the next recipient.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sally sat silently in the chair, trying to avoid a particular someone's eyes she could feel boring into her. She finally looked up, staring back into his jet black eyes. When their gazes met, he moved towards her, and leaned next to her.  
  
"What'd she say?" He whispered in her ear.  
  
"I'll tell you as soon as you finish reading Wufei." She whispered back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
So there you guys go. Hope you enjoyed it. I have decided to stop the whole blackmailing thing by the way, so you guys should be happy. However the sooner you guys get the reviews going, the more I'll work on it and the happier I'll feel about it.. Oh, and that reminds me, I'm currently working on another GW fic that should come out in spring at the latest, and I'm going to be deleting three of my fics on ff.net. The reason why for those is so I can develop them further and then re-release them later. Those include "Hidden Secrets", "Pink, the Color of my Heart (Sailor Moon)", and "Dark Force". Okay, now that I've updated you guys, go and review so I'll write the next chap for this. Seriously, how'd you guys like this one? I'm sorry it was so short by the way...However, I do feel that I portrayed Dorothy correctly, sorry if I made her seem dependent. If you think over it for awhile though, I think you'll see my point, and she won't seem so OCC.   
  
~Crystal Delphina~ 


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Summary: Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Darlain Peacecraft. You will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snagged your attention with that first misleading chapter.  
  
A.N.: Hello everyone. This will be, let me see, I believe my fifth GW fic. And to think, I just started writing in November 2000. I'm very proud of myself. Umm.. go check out my other fic Breathless that I just put out. OH, and I hope you all had a great holiday season and Happy New Year!  
  
Last Words: Chapter 6-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
=~*~=  
June 22 - A.C. 198  
The times change, and we all grow older, but I can't help feel nostalgia when I re-experience child hood memories. I haven't done anything like this since I was around 7, and I'm very happy I went again. I actually didn't think I'd enjoy it (but don't tell Catherine and Trowa that). I went to a circus.  
  
They invited me when they came to the colony I was staying on, and requested to have lunch with me before hand.   
  
Now, I admit that I don't get to see my friends very often, even though it may sound like it. Whenever they know we are going to be on the same colony though, they usually call me up, and unfortunately I often can't accept their offers. I like all these connections I have though. So I gladly accepted their offer, because I hadn't seen them in what seemed like year (and it quite possibly might have been a year since I last saw them, but I don't think so).  
  
The lunch was quite enjoyable, and we had a good conversation, although Trowa remained quiet, only talking to put in his opinion. I learned that soon they would be taking over the circus, because the manager was going to be leaving to go live with his family. "The circus is my home and how I grew up. I don't think I could leave it for a long time." Catherine has managed to put her job and home together into something she loves. I'm impressed. And Trowa will always stick by her side.  
  
The circus was superb though. I admit that I was slightly biting my nails when Cathy began to throw knifes at Trowa, even though I had full trust in her capabilities. And when Trowa started taming the lion I was at the edge of my seat (literally, I mean it is a dangerous animal you know). I really did feel like a little girl again.   
  
I left them with great thanks for inviting me, and hugs promising I'd see them again soon. The holiday parties are only a season away. Journal, remind me to go to the circus once a year.   
  
=~*~=  
  
Catherine smiled. She was glad she could help Relena relive childhood memories if only once. If she remembered correctly, Relena only came to the circus once more. The thought made her feel a bit sad, but she pushed the thought aside as she continued reading. She only had a bit more.   
  
=~*~=   
  
Catherine,  
This may be the last time I talk to you, and in a lot of ways, that makes me sad. I'm very sorry we never had a chance to become better friends, however, your hospitality to me is greatly appreciated. Your home is the circus, and I understand that, and I hope it brings you many years of joy.   
  
Keep comforting Trowa the best way you know how. Your bond with Trowa is remarkable, and you've always been there for him. Continue to do so. Remember I also keep you in my heart. Once again I'm sorry; it is one of my few regrets.   
  
Love,   
Relena.  
  
=~*~=  
  
Catherine also had that same regret. She wasn't as good of friends with Relena, much less all the others, as Hilde was or something, but she always welcomed her with open arms. She really hoped Relena didn't feel to bad about it though, because she knew Relena meant what she said. Relena was a kind and generous person, and you couldn't ignore the fact.   
  
She headed back to the waiting room, and handed the journal over to Hilde who had been leaning on Duo.   
  
She mumbled a 'thanks' before getting up and leaving. Catherine walked over to her still vacant seat. Nearly three hours had passed since they had all first arrived at that hospital, and they still had six people left. It was turning out to be a very long afternoon.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hilde made her way outside, sitting in a small back garden that the hospital owned. She couldn't stand hospitals, especially since her own injuries that took place during the White Fang incident. She gladly escaped out into the warm sun and sat down on a bench.  
  
She read entry after entry in silence, except for the common noises of everyday life. No one else occupied the garden that she sat in, and she was happy for that.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I need food. Is anyone else hungry? I'll bring them back something." Sally stood up and stretched her arms a bit, feeling the circulation return back to her tired limbs.   
  
"You know hospital food can kill right?" Noin added a small smirk to her comment, and Sally mockingly scowled at her.  
  
"Shut up, I'm starving. I'll take anything right now."  
  
"Just bring back a bunch of stuff. I'm sure it will get eaten." Duo slightly grinned up at Sally. Noin rose from her seat also.  
  
"I'll come with you; I doubt you want to carry all that food by yourself." The two began to walk down the hall. The tension had lessened some at the light conversation, but it soon returned to silence as the two women left.   
  
As was mentioned before, it was going to be a long afternoon.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sorry that this chapter was so short. I promise the next one will be longer. I mean, it's Hilde after all. ^_^ 


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Guess what? I still don't own them. :: gasps heard everywhere :: I know, I know, it breaks my heart too. Nevertheless, that's okay, I'll just keep writing these fics for you. :)  
  
Summary: Welcome to the thoughts of Relena Darlain Peacecraft. You will begin to read her secret journal, but I won't give away the whole plot. You'll soon see. So just read, and I hope I sort of snagged your attention with that first misleading chapter.  
  
A.N.: .......... I actually updated this thing. I bet you guys thought I never would and that I totally forgot about it. Well you were right, at least about the second part. I admit it that I've kind of lost my flare for GW since I just haven't seen it so much. It just doesn't inspire me anymore like it used to, and yet I still come up with these fics. The problem is though without any inspiration, I don't feel the drive to work on them. And also I've just developed interests in categories like DBZ. Also my life is really hectic now. Anyway, what I'm basically trying to say is don't expect the chapters to come out like next week, but I definitely will update a whole lot sooner, like maybe at the beginning of next month. Until then I hope you wait patiently.  
  
Last Words: Chapter 7-by ~Crystal Delphina~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
=~*~=  
January 30, A.C. 197  
  
Hilde and I stayed up all night talking the other night. We talked about everything and nothing at all, whatever came to mind or whatever entered our hearts. Fears, doubts, joys, and even love, we covered it all. We seem to do that every now and again, just to check up with each other. I used to believe I had best friends, but I never really had any until Hilde, and then the other girls.   
  
Sure I had the girls at my school that acted kind to me, and I know that they really were trying to be friendly, but they couldn't get past my title. Then they backed away in fear, their lives to pampered to acknowledge someone remotely involved in the war(much less that there actually was a war), even if that person was fighting for the side of peace. It was to risky to get tied up with the princess(me, duh), unless you were someone who had nothing to lose.  
  
Once again, as always the case, the conversation covered schooling. Hilde still really wants to go to college, but she doesn't want to leave what she's doing now. And as always, I tried to assure her that whatever decision she wanted to make, no one would think less of her. She's reluctant however for other reasons then just a job.  
  
This is how the topic of conversation turned to love. She couldn't bare to leave Duo - she never has- and I also know that he feels the same way. She has a feeling that he wouldn't follow her to her school, but of course they would see each other. She just can't decide which is more important to her.   
  
"Have you told Duo about how you feel about all this?" I asked, wondering if maybe they could figure out a plan. She got up to go get a mug of hot chocolate without any comment. When she came back, she brought up the subject of my newest intern...  
=~*~=  
Late February  
  
"Relena, you won't believe what came in the mail today." Hilde entered my office with a huge smile on her face. I wasn't sure exactly what had gotten into her, but I figured if it was that good, I should smile along.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I received an acceptance letter from L2 University." Well that caught me by surprise, and of course she saw it in my face.  
  
"What are you talking about??"  
  
"After our talk last month, I just had to see if I could even get into a college. So I applied, just for fun though of course."  
  
"Are you going to go?" I held my breath.  
  
"Well, yes and no..." She was hiding something, and I could tell she was just bursting at the seams to tell me. Another surprise, but this one I didn't think I'd like as much. I was right of course.  
  
"Duo and I talked like you suggested, and he also wants to go to school. So, we're going to spend one more year with Preventers, and then we're going to move back to L2, and both go to school there. Isn't that just great?" She looked to me for my acceptance.  
  
"That's great news Hilde." Yeah, just peachy. In one year I'll be loosing my best friend... "We should go celebrate tonight." She nodded eagerly.  
  
Even now, after we finished with the nice dinner and bottle of champagne, I sit in this bed crying. Duo and Hilde were really the only ones left. Of course there is Wufei and Sally, but really they act more like body guards then friends, especially Wufei. I think though that in some ways he is trying to make something up to Heero by protecting me, but what I'm not sure. And Une is more like a advice type of person. Now who will keep me company in this damned city that houses both the ESUN and the Preventers under one skyline?  
  
=~*~=  
  
(undated)  
They're leaving earlier due to the fact that apparently Duo applied too, and both of them are going to start in the fall. Mid July is the last time I'll see them for a while. I've gotten over it though, and I really am happy for them. No more self pity.  
  
=~*~=  
  
Hilde unconsciously rubbed her stomach, her maternal instincts kicking in. Although she was still only a month into the first term, she could feel herself starting to show. She entered the waiting room to see most of the occupants pigging out on junk food. She turned a tad shade of green at what they were consuming, for she had always been a health food fanatic, but figured that she too would be having cravings for greasy chips soon.   
  
She also noticed that Dorothy and Quatre, along with Wufei and her husband, were playing chess against each other. Sally and Noin seemed to be playing checkers, and Catherine and Trowa read magazines. She quirked an eyebrow at Trowa. She hadn't taken him for the Cosmopolitan type, but whatever... Apparently no one had noticed her walk in yet, so she decided to make her presence known.   
  
"Maxwell, hurry up and make your move," Wufei grumbled impatiently. However, Duo didn't seem to notice his commentary, as he continued to stare at the board looking for strategic advantages. Hilde gave a slight smirk at her beloved's concentration. She tapped Wufei on the shoulder, motioned to the book, and waited for him to get up so she could finish out the game. Getting the idea, Wufei took the journal.  
  
Just then, Duo rubbed in hands together when he figured out a foolproof plan. He gave a huge grin as he looked down at the board. He moved his piece and said, "Ha, I got you now Wufei. There is no way you can escape this." He looked up with a satisfied smile, when his confidence suddenly faltered.  
  
"You're not Wufei!" Hilde smiled.  
  
"Ah dear, you continue to astound me with your unique observation skills."  
  
"But - but, Wufei was just right there!" he said flabbergasted. Hilde simply shrugged and moved her piece.  
  
"Checkmate." Duo's wide eyes turned from her, to the board, and he nearly lost it - mentally of course.  
  
Wufei was about to exit the room when he turned to look at Sally. Coincidentally, she looked up at the same time too, and stared after him as he walked out of the room.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yes, yes, I know it was short, but like I said, don't expect miracles the first time I write this in a while. Oh, I hope this chapter was better then the last couple, because I've been trying to work on my writing style and improve it, but maybe nothing really changed. So just a little hint, inspiration can also come from reader encouragement. What exactly am I trying to say? Review!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! Can I say it any differently? 


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